[hey, Nile was serious when she said her door was open. Inbox. Whatever. And she doesn't know the full history, there's no judgment here, but she doesn't like how the guy seems to ignore the boundaries Rey sets up.]
At least the city doesn't have hang-ups about power dynamics, right?
[She doesn't mean to tease. It's commiseration, wrapped in a wry twist more than anything else]
You deserve to live in a house.
Everyone does, at least once.
[And realistically? She's got friends who would help her keep it, if he tried to take it away. Nile, for start, and she can think of at least three others who'd be next in line]
I wish it weren't because he decided to give it to me.
[ it's hard to feel deserving of anything when she can't earn it for herself. it was the only way she'd mustered some self esteem on jakku — she was capable, effective. none of it matters now.
[ if nile knew her dominant, she wouldn't admit this. but the distance makes it easier to acknowledge some of her muddy feelings about the valley between kylo ren and ben solo. ]
[Sounds like he's trying. For what, Nile's not quite sure--working to actually win favor can look a lot like trying to get leverage on someone.]
When you get it let me know. I'll come over. We'll make sure it's safe.
[Nile can do a sweep for cameras, anything her dominant might put in the house that's not above board. She doesn't know if the guy will, but she's going to make sure Rey's set up]
[ not to make sure it's safe, but to be able to have someone over, into her own space. she'd brought one or two people to her apartment in the down's public housing, but it was so cramped that it could only be a brief pit-stop. it'll be better to have a house. somewhere d-0 can roam. ]
[two birds, one stone. And if there's a droid involved, Nile will probably lose her mind with excitement. They haven't really made it to droid-stage yet, where she's from. Some robots, some AI, but mostly things still controlled by humans.]
[ it was a surprise to her, but she's processed it now. she has to take the good things when they come. worry about the rest later. ignore the voice telling her that she doesn't deserve it. ]
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[ and she didn't know who else to message about that when she isn't willing to fess up to who she had contracted in the first place ]
he isn't even going to live in it
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[hey, Nile was serious when she said her door was open. Inbox. Whatever. And she doesn't know the full history, there's no judgment here, but she doesn't like how the guy seems to ignore the boundaries Rey sets up.]
what's the catch?
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It's not in the contract. He could take it back for anything. Then I'd be back in the Up with him.
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[ She has no skill for it, not a level enough head. Exasperation pales in time. ]
yeah. It'd be better.
But a house! I've never lived in a house.
[ getting used to it is a real risk. if it grows important, if it feels like hers, what might she stomach to keep it? ]
no subject
[She doesn't mean to tease. It's commiseration, wrapped in a wry twist more than anything else]
You deserve to live in a house.
Everyone does, at least once.
[And realistically? She's got friends who would help her keep it, if he tried to take it away. Nile, for start, and she can think of at least three others who'd be next in line]
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[ it's hard to feel deserving of anything when she can't earn it for herself. it was the only way she'd mustered some self esteem on jakku — she was capable, effective. none of it matters now.
it makes her feel like a toy. ]
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[It doesn't matter how hard either of them work, this place won't let them get ahead.]
Would he listen if you told him no?
I'm not saying you should. Just: would he listen?
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Or in general?
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But I guess if it's on the table, in general too.
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honestly I think he would prefer it if I stayed with him
I thought he would
[ now she's wondering if she is being discarded, though. ]
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what would you prefer?
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[ if nile knew her dominant, she wouldn't admit this. but the distance makes it easier to acknowledge some of her muddy feelings about the valley between kylo ren and ben solo. ]
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It's hard to explain.
I don't want to live here with him, now, like this.
so I'll take the out. I just wish it didn't feel like this.
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The new place is in the Down?
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He would have chosen the Up, but when I said I wanted to stay down there ...
[ it was all he'd even looked at. that's part of what confuses her. ]
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When you get it let me know. I'll come over. We'll make sure it's safe.
[Nile can do a sweep for cameras, anything her dominant might put in the house that's not above board. She doesn't know if the guy will, but she's going to make sure Rey's set up]
Are you--good with him until then?
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[ not to make sure it's safe, but to be able to have someone over, into her own space. she'd brought one or two people to her apartment in the down's public housing, but it was so cramped that it could only be a brief pit-stop. it'll be better to have a house. somewhere d-0 can roam. ]
I promise I can handle him.
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[two birds, one stone. And if there's a droid involved, Nile will probably lose her mind with excitement. They haven't really made it to droid-stage yet, where she's from. Some robots, some AI, but mostly things still controlled by humans.]
Good. Just don't forget you have back up.
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I have to go.
We're going looking now, I think.
[ it was a surprise to her, but she's processed it now. she has to take the good things when they come. worry about the rest later. ignore the voice telling her that she doesn't deserve it. ]